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[ website | FictionLyn's NSYNC Fiction ]
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Mailing List Update! [Sep. 22nd, 2009|03:25 pm]

If you would like to join the mailing list, please follow the directions below:


1.  Log in to Yahoo.
2.  Go to:  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FictionLyn/  
3.  Click "Join This Group"
You're all set!  I will put the chapters in the files section, or you can download from the link I add to the update emails.  Basically, you have two options.  :)


1.  Create a Yahoo account.  (www.yahoo.com)  It's free!
2.  Follow the same directions as above.


1.  Email a message (could be blank) to subscribe:  FictionLyn-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
**It will send you an email to confirm.  Check your SPAM folder!**

2.  Email me (FictionLyn@aol.com) and I will send you the most current file for MYU.

3.  I will send out an update email to everyone when a chapter is done.  The chapter will contain a link to a file hosting site where you can download it for free.


If it doesn't work, let me know.

Welcome aboard!  Email me with any questions, concerns, or just to chat!

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Maybe You'd Understand [May. 28th, 2009|02:48 pm]
If you have emailed me about Maybe You'd Understand, I have responded to all of the emails at this point. So if you haven't heard from me, you might want to try again. (FictionLyn@aol.com) I usually send out the MYU file, the updated one, and for some people I think the file might be too big for your email system. Which would explain why some people haven't heard back from me.

Once that is done, you should hear from me by this Monday with a new chapter. If you haven't, please email me again.

Yes, I'm keeping the list small, but as of now I'm not turning anyone away. If you would like to read or just check out the new stuff, please contact me. I'd love to hear from you. :)

Have a great rest of the week!
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Dusting this off [Mar. 9th, 2009|05:13 pm]

It has certainly been a while, and I never use this account anymore.  (I usually use stubborn_me)  Here's what I posted over there.

Thanks for the nudge!
I appreciate the nudge and I thank you for pushing me to post something. :) (You know who you are.)

Time flies when you're busy busy. I've been so busy with work, the pets, etc that I just haven't thought about writing here. I guess I should have used this as a way to put some of my adventures down.

The biggest thing that has happened lately is this: I've gotten some WOW emails. I define WOW emails as emails that move me to tears or inspire me. In the last few months I've received quite a few of them, and I find it's interesting that I received them at a time when ideas are starting to flow again and I'm wanting to write again. They came at a time when I was questioning myself the most and wondering if I really want to put words on paper again.

I began reading Maybe You'd Understand the other day and I'm completely hooked. I'm hooked on it so much that I can't stop reading it. I see some problems and I see some errors, but overall I see a story that has pulled me in and made me excited to continue it. So my plan at this moment is to finish reading it, see what I can do with it, and then finish it. Finishing it will help me decide if I still have my true passion for writing again, or if I'm just pushing myself to do something for the wrong reasons. Only time will tell.

I have ideas and I have plots that I would love to explore. I have daydreams and characters and they're screaming at me to tell their stories. I want to lose myself in characters and plots again, and with almost 10 years of maturity I want to dive into the sexier and darker side of writing. I want expression....whereas before I just wanted something to do.

It feels good. :)

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Directions [Dec. 30th, 2004|01:51 pm]
If you're here because you clicked on the link on my site, read the entry just before this one.

If you're here to see if anything has been updated or whatever, it hasn't. But you can visit my new journal located here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/stubborn_me/

Stop by and keep in touch.
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I'm so tired... [Nov. 21st, 2004|08:40 pm]
[mood |uncomfortableTorn]

I've been rolling an idea around in my head for a while now, and now I'm so tired of thinking about it that I just decided to do something about it.

Let me back up a little bit...

I've wanted to be a teacher ever since I was old enough to have thoughts about it. There's never been a doubt in my mind that teaching is my calling. Yes there are days when I would love to hide under my covers and not deal with the pressures of educating children, but I love it with all my heart. It is who I am.

Five years ago, on a whim, out of boredom, I tried something that I never thought about trying before. I sat down and I wrote a story. On that same whim, I posted it on the internet and there began "FictionLyn" and the many Sagas and dramas that followed.

There were times that these two things clashed. There were times when I was so obsessed with my writing that I gave less attention to my teaching. My students didn't suffer because I'm good at multi-tasking...but I divided myself between two passions and gave away myself in order to sustain those two passions.

I took a year off after writing for 2 solid years (and I mean solid) and I began a story that pushed me farther. I realized that I could write and sustain a story based on completely fictional characters. I fell in love with the freedom of it and the newness of it. I really enjoyed being able to update on my own time and for my own reasons.

Ever since I started this new story, I've felt a pull in myself more than ever before. I ignored that tug-of-war inside of myself and I kept on with what I was doing, even though from the very start I didn't want to write like I had been before. I didn't want to write online anymore.

Now I'm stuck because I've started it and people are reading it. But this week I hit a point in my life where I realized how pulled I am and how much I resent it. Of how much I resent being "FictionLyn" and writing in a way that I'm not happy with anymore. I'm not happy with where I am, I'm not happy with having my life pulled away from my true calling, and this week I found myself so frustrated and scared that I took myself away from who I am as a teacher. That scared me.

I'm terrified of writing now. Before, I could sit and come up with 20 ideas on how to take a scene or a storyline...and now it just stresses me out to think of anything that has to do with writing. I can't even enjoy books anymore. I've heard of writer's block. I've heard of people having too many ideas. I've never heard of a writing phobia, but that's the closest way I can describe what is going on right now with me. I'm terrified of diving back into my writing or even continuing it.

I don't know how I made it through the chapter the other night. I honestly don't remember sitting down and writing it. It was just done and I posted it. Writing now seems like a job, and I don't understand that because I love my story and I love my characters. I love where it's going and I love what I'm going to make of it. I just don't understand why I'm feeling like this. I feel like I can't pull anything together right now. I've felt like this for a while now, I hoped that taking a break would help, but it only made me realize how nice it was to have one single job to do and do it well.

There's a reason my site won't load. I've taken it all down. I thought that would make me upset and that I would struggle with it, but I felt liberated and I felt good. I felt, for the first time in years, that I was being true to MYSELF. I was being true to my own wishes and desires.

It upsets me and hurts me that I've disappointed people out there who have been with me from the beginning. You all are never far from my mind. You all are the ones that kept me going even when I wanted to stop.

I promised myself that when writing wasn't fun anymore, when I began to dread it or feel turned off by it, that I would stop. This might be yet another mistake, but for now when I feel like I'm juggling too many things in my life...it is giving me some sort of peace. And so far it seems like the kind of peace that I have been searching for, for a really long time.

I don't know how much I'll update this journal, that's not something I have thought about yet. I don't know much of anything except that I need less responsibility and I need to focus on my own life that doesn't revolve around fiction. I never planned to have this path in my life to begin with.

All I can ask for is understanding. If that is too costly to give...so be it.

Me (just me)
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Just a quick random question... [Nov. 5th, 2004|02:28 pm]
[mood |worriedworried]

How often is an adult cat supposed to urinate each day?

I finally have my baby Jacy home and so far he has only urinated once in about 19 hours. Do they usually only go to the bathroom once or twice a day?

I'm hovering...I know. :)
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My poor little pumpkin :( [Nov. 2nd, 2004|10:43 am]
[mood |exhaustedexhausted]

So last night I was taking a bath and my cat Jacy walked into the bathroom (I usually have either him or his sister for a security guard when I take a bath) and he started hissing and growling loudly all of a sudden. Then he went into the litterbox, out of it and licked, in, then out, over and over. After doing that a few times (still growling and hissing and whining) he came over and peed a few drops on my bathmat. VERY unlike him. He has been using the litter box since he was 3 months old. (He's 5 years old now.)

So immediately I thought of a family friend who had a male cat who once had his "pee pee" back up and get blocked. The cat almost died before they could do something about it. I get on the internet, I look up a few things, and sure enough...Jacy has the same symptoms.

Last night Natalie and I treked to the emergency animal clinic here in Orlando, they kept him overnight to clear out the blockage (yes, there was really a blockage) I barely slept last night. Jacy's sister barely slept because she's never been without him. I had to call out of work today because I had to be over at the emergency clinic at 6:30 to get Jacy, only to take him to a regular vet for them to take care of him. (They're going to keep him for 24-48 hours and monitor him, but everything looks great.)

I was seriously freaking out last night though. And it wasn't him as much as my students have a field trip today AND I had no plans out AND I work in an afterschool tutoring program that I now can't go to. At the time I was calling in, I had no idea when they would say for me to pick him up or what they would need me to do.

*deep breath*

I seriously need sleep.

My poor little pumpkin. :(
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This is a fucking new one for me. HAHA! [Oct. 20th, 2004|05:41 pm]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]

This is irritating me and I don't know why. So I got a new car last month. (Scroll down for pictures if you're lost.) October 22nd is supposed to be when my first payment is due. So I haven't received a damn thing from Suntrust Bank yet about where to send the payments, how much I owe, etc.

Nothing. NADA.

I called Suntrust a little while ago and asked them to resend any information because I guess it got lost in the mail or whatever. What do they tell me?

They don't even know who I am.

THAT'S RIGHT! There is no car loan taken out with them in my name, in my social security number, and they've never even seen the VIN number of my car.

So what does that make the car I'm driving right now? Stolen? Lost? Shall I hope for free????? (yeah right!)

I called the dealership and even the receptionist is like "This is a new one for me! I've never seen a bank not want to take money!"

They haven't called me back yet, a finance person, because they're probably scrambling around trying to get things worked out. My paperwork says that SunTrust Bank supplied the loan, the amount of the loan, and even the date of when I should be making the first payment.

But alas, nobody seems to want my money.

Well yay!

GRRRRRRRRRRR! How fucking irritating!
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(no subject) [Oct. 13th, 2004|04:48 pm]
[mood |relaxedrelaxed]
[music |Michael Buble' - The Way You Look Tonight]

I stole this from Natalie who stole it from Kat, so I guess I'm stealing from Kat. heh heh :)

green aura
Your aura shines Green!

What Color Is Your Aura?
brought to you by Quizilla

MANY hugs, kisses, and thanks to a fabulous Hayden site called Desiring Haden for the new livejournal icon. I love it. It rocks. It makes me all tingly. Here's the site address for those who would like to take a gander: http://desiringhayden.net/ Many hours of enjoyment (and drool) await. :)

I'm loving my students when they grab ahold of a topic and debate it. We had our second debate in class today (whether student athletes should have to maintain a certain GPA in order to participate) and they were FAB...U...LOUS! I wish I could record these. It's just something that I'm proud to be a part of.

Halloween is coming up and I wish I planned on going to a party. But alas, I'm not and that is fine too. I just wish they would have more scary movies on TV. I remember when I was a kid, they used to have scary movies EVERYWHERE on TV during the month of October. Now? Not so much.

Speaking of scary movies, I'm excited to see two that are coming out. I rarely get creeped out or scared by movies, but these two look like doozies.
1. Saw: http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/saw/
Creepy as hell but VERY clever idea.

2. White Noise: http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/white_noise/
The trailer alone wigged me out. Just completely wigged me out. I think that's because I had just been on a site that discussed the whole "white noise" phenomenon and how people have taken pictures of "ghosts" through turned off TVs and stuff. That's some scary shit right there.

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*toasts to clear weather* [Sep. 28th, 2004|08:28 pm]
[mood |scaredCreeped Out]
[music |Gilmore Girls - Roomie is watching it. BLEH!]

Alrighty, I'm still alive and so is everyone else I care about in FL and GA. Luckily, the area of Orlando I live in wasn't hit as hard as some of the other parts were. It was a long hurricane, it wasn't fun, but overall it wasn't traumatic for me and I'm glad.

We have had the last two days off from school and now I'm going to have to start up again after missing days at school. These poor kids. How are they ever going to get anything this year?

I have been having a continuing dream lately and it involves Dave Matthews. (Yes, from Dave Matthews Band)

Backstory: I'm not a Dave Matthews fan. I'm trying desperately to listen to some of his music because I have found that I truly love some of it (he has SUCH cool instruments in his songs that other bands don't even try to put in there) I'm just having some problems listening to his music because it reminds me a lot of an ex-boyfriend who was the Dave Matthews enthusiast of the apocolypse. (Yeah, fuck you if you're reading this. It bothers me even when it's a reminder.) But, like I said, I like some of his songs A LOT so I'm not going to be held back from enjoying interesting music because it reminds me of someone.

So my dream involves me still being me. I'm a teacher, I live in Orlando, I have all my same friends, etc. But I'm married to Dave Matthews. I'm not exactly sure how we met and became involved, but we have a very close relationship that has been developed over quite a bit of time even though we haven't been married long. During the dream I get frustrated a lot because parents are requesting their children be in my class just because of who my husband is. New teachers are curious because they find out that I'm "the one married to Dave Matthews" and so they're checking me out whenever I walk by. It was a headache and it pissed me off. I just wanted to be me and for them to leave me alone.

Then the dream continued last night where I wanted to drive up to Gainesville next Friday (where my parents live and the University of Florida is) because the Dave Matthews tour was pulling in for a show and I hadn't seen him in a long time because of the schedule they were on. I asked my boss for the day off and he wouldn't let me. I was so pissed off because I wanted TO SEE MY HUSBAND and the little wee-man wouldn't let me. Grrrrr!

So far in dreams I seem to have the "marriage syndrome" with lead singers of bands. Rob Thomas in some and Dave Matthews now in others. Strange I tell ya. Very very strange.

Speaking of strange, can I just tell you how psychic I am lately? Natalie and I walked Callie before the hurricane hit (right before) and right as we started walking I said "We shouldn't go far, it will start raining." AT THAT VERY SECOND it started raining. So then we were hustling back to our aparment, I said "Ok STOP!" and the rain stopped RIGHT THEN. A few minutes later, I said "I wonder if **** (our neighbor) is home." At that very second, her door opened and she walked out.

*chills* Still creeps me out. Creeps me out a lot.

Now I need to make some plans for school tomorrow. Later!
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